What the F*ck is Bin Lang?

Daily Blend, lisette, What the F*CK!? | Lorenzorob | March 17, 2011 at 9:02 am

Photo by: srinivas_ramdas

A nut with a buzz, Bin Lang is Taiwan’s second largest crop and people consume it like candy. Known to science dorks as Areca catechu and cool kids as a Betel Nut, it’s similar to chewing tobacco (with a bit of a high) and just as tooth-stainingly cancerous. Hawked on the streets by chicks in bikinis, this nut is food, drugs, sex and smokes all rolled into one.

juicy 300x225 What the F*ck is Bin Lang?

Photo by: JoyceSeah_Singapore

Cited from Shaman-lore to the Kama Sutra, Bin Lang has been chewed-n-spat all over Southeast Asia since the good ole days. It’s customary to split it down the middle or crush it, sprinkle it with lime, then wrap it in a Betel leaf before serving. Do like a squirrel and keep the gob—the quid— of it in your cheek pocket and let the lime work its magic to get it into your bloodstream. You’ll be assaulted by deep and bold flavors, zinged with the acrid bite of your skin dissolving and taste a little pinch of cherry flavor on top.

OTP Tip: Be sure not to swallow this juice or you’ll be yakking your brains all the way to mainland China.

Photo by: tropical.pete

In these days of health-consciousness, Bin Lang has lost some popularity. It’s now somewhat frowned upon in the cities due to it’s link with oral cancer, even though its consumption used to be a status symbol—much like cigarettes in America. The fact that its active ingredient makes you salivate furiously, which in turn makes you spit the nasty, blood-colored juice like a camel on crack, could be part of the reason it’s hated on. If you are not deterred by the health advisories against the nut (cancer? never heard of it), smile at the scoffs you receive and give everyone a money-shot of your busted-ass grill.

Asian countries associate Bin Lang with a wide range of medicinal properties (with uses ranging from pain-reliever to post-birth vaginal canal shrinker). Tradition-wise, Bin Lang is used as an ice-breaker, sometimes exchanged like currency and seen as a symbol of marriage (the union of nut and leaf). It is also a hunger suppressant and, like coca leaves in South America, has been used to relieve the pains of being poor. As such, many cultures continue to chew on these suckers despite the health risks that may be involved.

Photo by: bignosetw

The land of killer street art and dumpling soup, Taiwan’s nuts are handed to you by a fine young lass in a string bikini. Known as Bin Lang Mei, these girls are half the fun of getting your fix. Just look for little stands decorated with Betel palm leaves and neon lights. While they closely resemble hookers, in sexy shoes and skimp-wear, don’t be fooled; these girls are only aching to sell you their nuts. Truckers in Taiwan usually choose their Bin Lang by copping a feel or two from the vendor and leaving a tip if it makes the girl smile (a whole new take on the Lot Lizard). Peepshows are also common while one ‘thinks about’ which girl to buy their quid from. Boobs and a cool buzz? Make that two, please.

Bin Lang stalls and their convincing salespeople can be found along busy highways and intersections throughout Taiwan. Despite the fact that Taipei has stink-eyed them to exile, they still sell their merchandise on the roads to best serve their trucker and taxi driver clientele. The road to Taipei from Taoyuan Airport is a definite win; find yours there. Bin Lang helps aid digestion, but only if there’s something in your stomach for it to work on. As such, get some of the town’s famous popcorn chicken at a street stall on the way and let the games begin.

Shame. Do it! Other areas of South Asia are also crazy about Bin Lang—Thailand, Burma, Vietnam, even Papua New Guinea. India, however, is probably the next coolest Betel merchant after Taiwan, where they refer to it as Paan Masala. True to form, Indian stalls spice the shit out of their quids, adding cardamom, cloves, tobacco, candy, even cow dung ash if you’re into Ayurveda.

Chew on Bin Lang once for the flavor, twice because the girl was pretty. No matter how you roll, Bin Lang’s your South Asian skoal that promises a bloody good smile and a decent, albeit brief, high. Just don’t get in over your head trying to get Bin Lang Mei to trade nut for nut—that’s what the massage parlors are for.