What the F*ck is a Sherpa?

Daily Blend, lisette, What the F*CK!? | connaroo | July 13, 2011 at 8:17 am

Photo By: Eddie Bauer

Long before Bear Grylls was wrestling lions and drinking his own piss on Man vs. Wild, there was a group of outdoorsmen who could scale mountains blindfolded—with a grown man on their backs. Sherpas, found mostly in Eastern Asia, are known for their superhuman mountaineering abilities. Furthermore, their trekking gear is usually sub par and they don’t get to stay in comped hotel rooms when the camera’s off. In fact, these guys are hardly ever ON camera, as they’re the ones lugging gear while National Geographic films another doc about white dudes conquering Everest.

Sherpas are a People Too What the F*ck is a Sherpa?

Photo by: Cezar Martins

So yes: Sherpa is a funny name for a furry-robed dude who schleps your shit while you snap Facebook photos. But the word Sherpa is derived from a Tibetan word meaning “Eastern people,” referring to the Sherpa people of Nepal. Nepalese Sherpas migrated from Eastern Tibet in the 15^th century, and made a rough living as traders, farmers and herders. Centuries of carrying wares across the brutal Himalayas hardened the Sherpas into badass mountain climbers with backs like armadillos. In 1921, the Brits controlled the Indian subcontinent and decided they wanted to see what Mt. Everest was all about. These pansy-ass Westerners realized they could exploit the mad mountaineering skills of the Sherpa people, and the Sherpa realized they could make a quick buck off rich adventurers with weak backs and bad senses of direction.

Sherping for Dummies What the F*ck is a Sherpa?

Photo By: amadablam

First off, no matter how rugged you think you are, not everyone can become a Sherpa. You need to be part of a Sherpa clan, or ru. Marrying in makes you an honorary member, but you’re not going to inherit climbing superpowers just by putting a ring on it. Sherpas tend to name their son after the day of week he was born—Sherpa dudes are generally either Lakhpa, Dorjee, Tensing, Nawang or Tashi. Almost all Sherpas make climbing, at altitudes of more than 23,000 feet with more than 100 pounds strapped on, look easy. What really separates the Sherpa men from the boys is knowing Everest like their right hand. The trick is to be able to navigate the world’s most formidable peak without getting lost and dying like other Sherpas whose one (that’s right—ONE) oxygen tank ran out.

How Sherpas Roll What the F*ck is a Sherpa?

Picture by: TanguyHerve

Sherpas usually get stuck with all the porter duties, but the ones who speak a tourist-friendly language, can also be guides. If a sherpa is (lucky?) enough to be both, he’ll cart the crap, set up camp, cook all the meals AND show everyone how to make the ascent without croaking. Oh, and at the top, a sSherpa becomes everyone’s personal photographer. If his hands are frostbitten and he drops that SLR he lugged for you, feel free to dock it from his $7,000 annual salary. (That was a joke. Don’t be a dick.)

Finding the Right Sherpa What the F*ck is a Sherpa?

Photo by: earthworm

Don’t hand out wads of cash to any random Sherpa just because they’re genetically predisposed to climb the shit out of you. Being wired to withstand altitude and weather colder than Hitler’s heart is one thing—knowing your way up Everest is another. When you hire a sherpa, ask to see his NMA certificate and proof of his last climb. Scaling Everest is KIND OF a big deal… and you want to make sure the Sherpa isn’t pulling his furry robe over your eyes. Legit sSherpa guides are certified by the Nepal Mountaineering Association (NMA) to lead foreigners safely up—and back down—a really fucking tall mountain. Whether you’ve found a freelance sSherpa or hired one through a trekking company, make sure he has the right gear and clothes. Having your Sherpa die mid-trek is a major bummer.

Respect Your Sherpa What the F*ck is a Sherpa?

Photo by: Eric Deuel

Just because you’re paying Sherpas third-world wages to do back-breaking work doesn’t mean you can go all sweatshop manager. They’ll do the heavy lifting (and the cooking and the navigating), but don’t expect them to carry your poop-bags or give you their last oxygen tank. Even if they dress silly, they deserve your respect. Giving it to them means they’re less likely to spit in your water or “lose” your stuff. It’s also going to make the trek much more fun and you just might score that last nibble of Dhal Bhat at dinnertime.

Sherpas don’t get physical for money, fame or bitches—it’s their way of life and they take great pride in their mountaineering heritage. They may be small in stature but rest assured, Sherpas are all fitter than a Ninja Warrior champ and if there were a docu-reality show called Man vs. Sherpa, Bear Grylls wouldn’t stand a chance.