Sex in Brazil: A Guide to Getting Laid for Girls, Guys and Gays

A simple Google image search reveals that Brazil is the largest South American country in more ways than one. With an overwhelming number of fantastic assets, Brazil has a solid reputation as the lustiest country south of the Equator. Sexy, sure—but easy? No way. Despite its racy rep, this nation isn’t about sloppy one-night stands or late-night booty calls. Getting a Brazilian in bed requires  moves smoother than sweet-cachaça caipirinhas, and OTP shows you how to reel in a fresh one.

Unless you’re in a mega-city like Sao Paulo or Rio de Janeiro, the majority of people won’t speak English and you must resist the temptation to default to Spanish. To increase your pool of potential, learn some basic Portuguese—you don’t have to know much, just enough to order drinks and make a date. Don’t worry about your gringo accent; once you get the digits, use  Google Translate to send texts or emails (though we recommend holding off on the sexts till you’ve graduated Rosetta Stone). Don't ruin a good boner by speaking English; Portuguese, it turns out, is a damn as sexy language.

Brazil is a machismo culture, which means men generally prey on women like a cheetah in a rabbit cage. Because no means yes to most Brazilian dudes, they’ll keep going for it long after they’ve already been shat on. Believe it or not, this charming technique actually works most of the time. If you’re balls aren’t big (or Brazilian) enough to handle that much rejection, go for the gold in round one. Brazilian girls aren’t game-players, so tap into your confidence and flaunt it like you got it (or fake it till you make it, porn star style). Don’t let rejection throw you off… just peddle your goods to another moça.

Brazilians are loud but their clubs are louder. Intimate conversations on the dance floor are out of the question, which means you have no other option than to get the point across through raunchy body movement. That’s right—the fast track to a Brazilian heart (or private part) are impressive dance moves. If you’re dancing-impaired, invest in some samba lessons or risk being that awkward wallflower who doesn’t get laid after prom. Once you’re samba-ing like a pro, grab a partner from the bar and try to keep that dance floor erection down until at least the third song. Girls looking to score Brazilian booty can forget lessons—inept samba skills are guaranteed to attract hordes of eligible dance instructors.

At any bar in Brazil, you’ll see swarms of couples merging faces in plain sight. This can be YOU. PDA is no big deal for Brazilians. In fact, if you DON’T try to shove you tongue down a chick’s throat after a 20 minute conversation, she’ll probably assume you’re gay. A little making out doesn’t guarantee putting out, though. Mind-blowing lip-locking skills are a must if you plan on stealing third base. Think of it as a test run: if they like what they’re feeling, they’ll be riding you home like a turbo-charged pony.

Getting a girl back to your hostel dorm requires some finesse, but—as anywhere—luring men into the sack requires little effort. For a horny honey, initiating a hookup in Brazil is as easy as making eye contact. A lingering glance and a sultry smile are practically an open invitation for a bathroom quickie. Brazilian men are used to doing all the work, so if you make the first move they’ll be so blown away . Getting down with the gay scene is equally as easy, thanks to the country’s chill attitude toward homosexuality. LGBT Brazilians don’t keep anything in the closet—just take a look at the Sao Paulo pride parade. There’s no question as to which team these fellas play for.

No matter who you’re hunting, your first sex stop has to be the beaches of Rio de Janeiro for some bikini’d or banana-hammock’d babe watching. Everyone there is already practically naked, so your eyes can get started on the foreplay while you spit game to take it further. Copacabana Beach is overrun with prostitutes, so unless you’re rolling in reais, head to Posto 9 of Ipanema where the loving is free. A little further down the beach, between Posto 9 and 8, there’s a place called Farme Gay, where the gay crowd rages. If your Portuguese is decent, try one of the clubs in the Lapa or Leblon neighborhoods, like Rio Scenarium. When you need a break from ritzy Rio, chill out in outdoorsy Florianoplis, where caipirinhas are cheap, women smile back and you’re likely to find a play-pal. Salvador da Bahia, on the northern coast, is another sexytime hot spot due to its tropical climate and bronzed locals. As if a humid hookup wasn’t enough to get you sweating, Salvador’s also got some famous steamy gay saunas where nudity and an open mind are required for entry.

In a country that breeds supermodels, capoieristas, and futebol-ers by the millions, your chances of running into an Alessandra Ambrosio or Rodrigo Santoro lookalike are pretty decent. When you’re in Brazil, better keep this guide handy—right next to your pocket Dirty Portuguese phrasebook and pack of ultra-thins.