Black pudding, blood pudding or blood sausage – whatever you call it, it’s bloody and the rest of the world thinks it’s crazy tasty. Usually in the form of a coagulated animal-juice filled sausage, its exact origins are up for debate. Rumored to have been invented by some ancient Greek chef around the first centuries AD, these things are nothing like the Oscar Myers you're used to. Open wide and broaden your carnivorous horizons with our guide to world’s gnarliest forms of wounded culinary coagulation.
Black pudding goes with a typical full English breakfast like a couple of ibuprofen might go with yours. Pork-intestine lined and stuffed with a whole bunch of oatmeal to soak up the congealed pig blood, it’s about as British as having a jolly good shag before your afternoon tea.
German bratwurst's bloody cousin, blutwurst, is usually made with pork blood and fillers like barley. Some regions embrace the nasty and go even grosser by swapping pork for horse meat or pickled ox tongue. To warm up to the idea of some local wiener, try it with Himmel und Erde – or Heaven on Earth. Not to be confused with the extra service you got from that “masseuse”, Himmel und Erde is actually a plate of applesauce, fried onions, mashed potatoes and blutwurst. Bloodiness is next to godliness.
Spaniards: passionate about soccer and siestas, but also equally pumped about pig. When they’re not inhaling a leg of jamón, chances are they’re eating a dish mixed with dark chunks of rice- and blood-filled morcilla. Try it alone, on top of a French fries with a fried egg, or in stews with chorizo and other leftover pork parts you never considered edible.
The Belgians and Dutch will get you all hot and bothered with their girthy 4-inch diameter variation of what they call bloedworst. Eat it with apples and brown sugar, or at lunch, slap it on some bread as a sandwich. If that fatty version is feeling too PG, get some tongue up in your business with the more beefy and adventurous tongenworst.
Along with Catholicism, a language and some whack diseases, Spaniards left a little morcilla in Latin America. If you've got a hankering for sweet sweet blood, hit up Uruguay for some morcilla dulce. It’s a barbaric trail mix of pig residuals with orange peel, walnuts, raisins, and sometimes even chocolate and other dried fruits. Eat your bloody heart out, granola bar.
Before you graduate to Korean dog meat, grub on a little sundae. Forget the cherry and fudge; the only red and brown lingering in this street food are cow or pig innards. Often stuffed with cellophane noodles, if you don’t get off on the taste of the sausage’s congealed blood, then the mushy pasta should do the trick.
When sucking down wieners loses its appeal, you can always curl up with a bowl of dinuguan, or “chocolate meat”, in the Philippines. Nothing says “comfort food” like a stew of animal parts served in a chocolate-colored gravy of garlic, chili, vinegar and pig blood.
Pig’s Blood Cake
The Taiwanese win the creativity prize with their nasty take on hot dog on a stick. Called “pig’s blood cake”, it’s a mixture of pork blood and sticky rice that doubles as a good gagging device, eliminating the need to shove your finger down your throat.
Chinese carnivores laugh in vegetarians’ faces by ditching the intestine casing and whipping up batches of pig or duck blood tofu. Steamed, fried or on a skewer, the snack should go nicely with that tabouleh salad, a glass of soymilk and recycling.
Apart from black-pudding loving immigrants, the Cajuns have traditionally represented stateside with their own special tribute to animal blood: boudin rouge. Unfortunately, the government got all anal about the sausage and pig blood action, so now finding legit Cajun black pudding will likely involve getting chummy with natives in the Louisiana backwoods.
Sick and wrong or not, the world is swarming with vampiric tendencies. Only gross if you actually think about it (or look at and/or taste it), no matter where you may find yourself in the world, a good bloody meat product is surely coagulating nearby.