Guys, put on your best three-piece suit, and ladies, go heavy on the glitter to prepare for OTP's international strip club extravaganza! Get ready to rub elbows (or other body parts) with the softest and sauciest dancers in our Guide to the World’s Best Strip Clubs.
If you're ever feel the urge to splurge, we hope you’re near Stockholm. Club Kino might be the best investment any impulsive bastard could ever make. Surrounded by all things classy, Kino will remind you of the aphrodisiac powers of elegance. They’re open until 7am, offering you 10 hours daily to feel like a king, and change the anatomical scenery every month, so you’ll never have to look at the same crotch bounce around your face twice.
While doing the Danza Kuduro might be on your agenda in Lisbon, hands up, hips down, you must get your ass to Batucada. What you could call an integrated strip club experience, this joint’s got it all: booze, bangin’ ladies, bar-food a-la-Portuguê and room to shake your beautiful self until 4am. The ladies on stage know how to entice and excite, so don’t stuff all your Euros into their cleavage at once. Avoiding blue balls is impossible but get your revenge by teasing them back with a Euro or two at a time.
West Berlin is the right side of the tracks (or wall) for naughty entertainment. Life is a box of chocolates, and this place offers up a juicy Bon Bon. For 10 Euro, you get in and they put a drink in your hand immediately (leaving the other hand free for whatever the night may bring). The ladies are a Bavarian dream, and, in keeping with the porn broadcast on German TV at 10am, they’re well versed in everything erotic.
Soi Cowboy is one of the many areas of Bangkok notorious for adult entertainment. No need to scour this city for a strip club—they’ve got places all over for go-go dancing, usually adding a peepshow to the dancing. A joint worth scoping is Tilac, refurbished a few years ago and one of the best spots for girl-dancing in Bangkok. Have a beer to calm your nerves (or get them going) at the flashy bar outside the club, and then make a rock star entrance into a room with a gigantic four-armed stage. Sometimes there will be 20 girls strutting it at once, and that’s not including the dozens of prowling ‘Coyote Girls’ just waiting to howl at the moon with you. Going all the way will run you about $40—a tenth of the crappy bj you got in Vegas from that classy lady on the corner.
The only thing sexier than stumbling in on the Cult of Dionysus mid-orgy might be the Lido Palace. The bar itself is amazing—modern decor, plush and stylish, lit with fiber optics that’ll turn the passing time into A Clockwork Orange. The women (or men, if you call in advance) are stunning as well and the club has a taxi service to haul your drunk and horny ass home at night's end. Your visit to Athens wouldn’t be complete without exploring the mysteries of Greek sex appeal; Aphrodite didn’t get famous for just lying on her back.
Hong Kong Tijuana Strip Club
The bohemian sage, Manu Chao, once said, “Welcome to Tijuana: Tequila, Sexo, Marijuana.” We're pretty sure he was referring to the Hong Kong Tijuana Strip Club. Don’t be confused by the name, even if everything looks like Chinese by the time you leave. Open24 hours and never lacking in entertainment, you could spend your entire trip to Mexico in this no-cover joint. If you're in the mood for nude, blow some of your budget on chips and beer at this awesomely-designed titty bar. Hang out here and you’re always gonna’ find a hospitable place to rest your head (or at least your face).
Angel's Lap Dancing Club
Dublin's hot spot, Angel’s Lap Dancing Club is so steamy, it would get a gay guy off in 60 seconds flat. With the theme parties they throw, not to mention the sliding last call, you never know what to expect when you walk in the door—aside from a fully nude lap dance. A beer garden, international models (taking the low road apparently) and a champagne room (aka boom boom room), go to show that there really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
A goddess harem awaits you at Diosas Club in Santiago. The crew at Diosas is stocked with everything that distinguishes a true Goddess from us mortals: immaculate beauty, powerful eyes and of course... great shakable assets. Diosas ups the ante with four main rooms, each equipped with a bar and hot tub. You just may find the meaning of life—which, by the way, is legal in Chile, even if you pay for it.
If you find yourself in Estonia with the need to be scissor-gripped by some long legs, Soho might be the spot for you. Whether you’re a night owl or a morning prowler, you can get yours however you want from 9pm to 6am. For you high-rollers, the club’s got a limousine that will bring you right to the door. Stocked with an awesome bar and a groovy mod vibe, you can sit back and enjoy the show or get your ass kicked by a stripper in a game of strip poker.
The Kiwis get frisky before sundown, so don't you dare resist. When in Wellington, do as the creepers and walk into The Mermaid at 5PM for happy hour (saving 20 bucks, mate!) You like French maids? Perhaps slutty school girls or furry zebra suits (freak) get you going? At the Mermaid, if you can work up a good whisper, topless waitresses are more than willing to hear your costume suggestions.
Our top 10 strip clubs will finally help you appreciate that always cold, hostel shower. Do your part and celebrate the intricacies of hoes and money by helping these international ladies pay their way through college.