Once you've seen a handful of traditional museums, another fucking museum just doesn't do it for you anymore. When old ass mummies, scriptures, musty taxidermy, and oil paintings lose their sparkle, these 10 Obscure Museums Around the World should jolt your jaded heart back into sightseeing action.
Meguro Parasitological Museum
People around the world share one major commonality: when presented with the opportunity to see something absolutely disgusting, we will rarely look the other way. How do you think zit popping videos on youtube stay in business? Consider Tokyo's Parasite Museum the ultimate train wreck of fucking nasty. It contains 300 kinds of flesh-eating, life-destroying jars of bugs and a 30ft tapeworm pulled from some unlucky guy that probably failed to wash his fruit. If you're not already hosting something gross under your skin, you can purchase a few parasitic trinkets to bring home from the gift shop.
The Paris Sewer Museum
Fuck Romance! Get knee deep in sewage at Paris' Sewer Museum. Under all the ground level sophistication lies a museum dedicated to explaining how the French have been dropping the kids off at the pool since the 13th century. Complete with diagrams and historical accounts, cruising around these waste management tunnels will get you so personally acquainted with the city, that closing the bathroom door next time Paris comes over for a frolic will be completely unnecessary.
Museum of Anthropology and Ethnography
St. Petersburg, Russia
Jars of mutated beings with various levels of freakishness float around these parts. Deformed fetuses, brains, and children, all creepily preserved in formaldehyde stare at you from every corner of this museum. Originally conceptualized by Peter the Great, a lot of the creepy junk in there came from his personal collection. And you thought collecting belly button lint was weird (it still is).
For all you beta carotene junkies, we bring you this gem. Here, you can stare at carrots until your eyes turn yellow. The “museum” is too small to enter so the “exhibits” are just random carrot-shaped objects you view through a window. It's not very educational, or entertaining for that matter. You'd think they'd hook you up with a slice of carrot cake or something to make it worth your while.
OTP Extra: The world of vegetable museums isn't just limited to the carrot. If you're looking for something greener, head to the Asparagus Museum in Germany. Don't complain if your piss smells like steel afterward.
Trick Eye Museums
If you're a fan of mind-bending illusion (or just like taking pictures of you doing seemingly cool shit), this place is designed to make your eyes hate you. Like that sidewalk artist who became famous a few years ago for painting realistic sink holes without breaking ground, the distorted works in here are all created to fuck with your vision. Out of the three trick eye museums in South Korea, the most popular one located in Seoul. All of them offer the opportunity for you to become part of the 3D paintings and help in your efforts to out-douche your friends' profile pics on Facebook.
British Lawnmower Museum
What's more exciting than watching grass grow? Hacking it off with a motorized machine, that's what. In England, lawn mowers are amazing enough to earn their very own museum where they are revered as instruments of ingenuity, craftsmanship, and precise grass-cuttery. With a name that's fit to trim, Edwin Beard Budding invented the mower in 1830, which led to the unemployment of every grazing animal on the pasture. From turbo-charged to solar-powered, tiny trimmers to cushioned Princess mowers, the museum is a unique collection of over 600 machines. The grass here is not only greener but has a better manicure than a Beverly Hills housewife.
Pay homage to the schnoz at the Nose Museum in Lund where over 130 plaster cast noses are on display, each surrounded by mirrors so that you can search for snot from all angles. How do you get your nose up in this bitch? Kind of like the Hollywood Walk of Fame stars, only the noses of do-gooders in the community are selected, by the Nasal Committee nonetheless, to be immortalized in plaster. A perfect excuse to pick up some local college students, you'll need help sniffing out this collection as it's hidden within the university grounds.
The troll's shining moment occurred somewhere in the 90's, when everyone was mesmerized by its brightly colored hair but soon faded into obscurity, as ridiculous fads often do. This museum proves that the baby-demon crossbreed lives on, in some lady's apartment on the Upper East Side. Reverend Jen Jr., a “trollologist” by trade, gives free tours of her collection by appointment only. Disregard the suggested $3,000 donation; she'd probably blow it all on more horrific trolls.
Next time you're on a suicide by sodium mission, head to the Raumen Museum in Japan where those loveable noodles are the main attraction. You don't come here to browse and discuss; you come here to eat the shit out of some noodles. A self-proclaimed “food amusement park”, half of the museum is a replica of a section of Tokyo from 1958 (when instant noodles were invented) and the other half is comprised of some of the best restaurants serving regional ramen varieties. The gift shop sells dry packages of ramen so you can recreate memories of the good ol' days when you slaved over the electric kitchenette in your dorm for 10 minutes and found curly noodles in your pillowcase the morning after.
Russians don't play beer pong; they play vodka chess. This may be the least obscure museum on our list but it's filled with 2,707 different kinds of vodka, so we're positive nobody will complain. This museum started out in St. Petersburg and in its drunken stupor, stumbled over to Moscow in 1994 where it passed out for good. Vodka, both in its consumption and production, is central to the Russian identity and is perhaps the sole reason Russians make it through frigid winters every year. When you're done looking at every type of vodka imaginable, they hand you a shot and send you on your merry way.
OTP Insider Fact: Samogonka refers to booze (often vodka) that is self-distilled. That basically means when times got rough, Russian dudes squeezed vodka out of anything from potatoes to plywood. If you find yourself in a questionable Russian basement, know that this shit is stronger than your average Ivan.
Counterfeit Goods Museum
Think you can tell your Guccis from your Coochies? Pradas from your Nadas? Armanis from your R. Kellys (we sure hope so)? Located on the 26th floor of a downtown skyscraper, this museum is housed in the law office companies use to track down skeezers that rip off their products. All the junk in there, which ranges from clothing items to fake food and auto parts, was previously used as evidence in court or confiscated from raids. A guide shows you how to spot the imposters which is handy when buying your next Benzo in China.
People around the world idolize and display some pretty ridiculous shit. It's not all Rembrandts, Warhols and Wooly Mammoths out there. Tapeworms, vegetables, noodles, knock-offs, and lawnmowers all make the museum-worthy cut. We're still on the fence about the troll museum; feels more like an episode of Hoarders than anything else.