OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off in Malaysia
Photo by: Mahdi Ayat
Looking to travel Asia but broke as a hostel mattress? Forget the usual suspects and opt for Malaysia, a sort-of CliffsNotes to the continent, instead. An Asian stew simmering with Taiwanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Singaporea and Thai hotties—Malaysia is ripe for the sampling with a little bit of game and a lot of Tiger Beer. If you take the Tiger too far, rumor has it that you can get out of a Drunk in Public ticket in the King’s hometown by reciting his entire name: His Majesty The Yang Di-Pertuan Agong Al-Wathiqu Billah Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin Ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Mahmud Al-Muktafi Billah Shah. We recommend practicing now.
Photo by: WadeBeger
When you drop anchor in Kuala Lumpur, get dressed, hungry and feelin’ good as soon as the mosques call the last prayer of the day. Put off that exploration of Little India till tomorrow and get some hardcore partying done first. It can be as easy as going upstairs if you’re staying at the Backpacker’s Travelers Inn, where the sexy bartenders at the rooftop bar keep ‘em stiff all night. Otherwise, your pregame party fix happens in Chinatown, where dozens of food stalls and sidewalk restaurants at the night market will prime your stomach for some serious play.
Photo By: Kingstonist
Fusing the drunken fun of Karaoke with the not-so-innocent excitement of strip clubs, Malaysia proves that nothing gets you singing like chili sauce and strippers! Once you’re ready to hit the scene, make your move to Jalan P. Ramlee, Kuala Lumpur’s main nightlife throughway. Shit’s crazy in this hood, just a few minutes walk from the Petronas Twin Towers. Must-do’s (at least once) include the Beach Club, the city’s infamous tropical-themed live music venue and the ultra-trendy Hotel Cabana. Both spots drop body-thumping bass-lines, smooth cocktails and have locals that get paid to look good (wink wink). If you want a little less “scene,” check out the Las Vegas KTV or—for the more budget-conscious—Broadway KTV in the Bukit Bintang.
Photo by: Mahdi Ayat
Cool the sweaty delirium of the club scene by walking off your buzz in Bukit Bintang, where busking musicians serenade open-air cafes and you can find a late-night massage parlor to work out all your kinks. Liquid Kitty Wine Bar is open late and can get you that glass of Aussie Shiraz you’ve been missing since landing in Asia. If it’s after-hours rug-cutting you’re looking for, hit the Foxx Discotheque and stumble out just in time to curse the sunrise.
Photo by: Jordan T. Cox
The cure for the South Asian blackout is guiltless noodle gluttony. The main attraction of this ultimate drunk food is the Koay Teow ribbon noodles, with green onions, bean sprouts, egg and prawns. Set yourself up right with a burrito-sized Malaysian spring roll, or bring a little romance to your one-night stand with Seafood Hor Fun and fried oysters. Kick it all back with a Kopi-ais if you’re done boozing, or keep the buzz strong with Malaysia-brewed Carlsberg.
Photo by: simone.vanhattem
Backpackers generally do it up in Chinatown because the food is cheap, the beers are cold and the company international, young, broke, and beautiful. In addition to the Backpacker’s Travelers Inn (with the rooftop bar), there’s Wheeler’s Guesthouse, which keeps it funky with an Asian Oasis theme and the Reggae Club Guesthouse, with an attached café guaranteed to bring out the Buffalo Soldier in anyone. A room runs from $10 to $20, depending on the amount of privacy you’re after. To keep things cheap, go for the dorm and bring a lock.
Photo By: Urbanbacon
Forget puking into a trash can or scrounging for an American coffee—even if your face registers no other emotion than goddammit, a Hog-plum juice will get you feeling human after only three sips. Grab one at a street-side Laksa stall, and let the tart, green liquid work its magic. There’s usually a little lime in it, and it shoots you up with enough vitamin-C to clean the toilet bowl next time you piss. Noodles are a good choice when you’re ready for something solid, and can be found on just about every corner. For the hardcore hungover, go for an ancient cure at a Chinese apothecary—pre-eaten ginseng, served with the minced stomach of the frog that originally ate it. It sounds gross, but looks like those juice boxes from your childhood. You don’t have enough brain cells to think about it anyway, so just swallow and be cured.
Though there’s a little bit of everything in Malaysia, a stop in Kuala Lumpur is a showcase of the country’s best all in one night. This doesn’t mean you should write off other places—Penang’s beach-bum vibe and Taman Negara’s jungles, are definitely worth a trip—but Kuala Lumpur’s where the party rages. Get it out of your system then move on to greener pastures.
Unbridled reality, bitches!
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Awesome Article
That’s a cool article. I’ve checked out a few of those places while staying in KL. It doesn’t have nearly the party scene of neighboring Thailand or even Singapore but the places you recommended are solid choices.