How to Use Toilets Around the World…
Sir Thomas Crapper, although not the inventor of the flush toilet as popularly believed, was a hell of a guy. The pusher of potties, the bad boy of bathrooms, Crapper advocated the use and development of sanitary plumbing for his entire life. The world caught on quickly and the use of toilets spread globally. Since the humble days of Crapper, people around the world have thought of new and interesting ways to drop off their smellies:
Germany- Poo Platform
Like a Just like a mullet: business in the front and party in the back (except the party isn’t a party at all; just a bunch of smelly poo landing on a platform) this interpretation of the toilet is quite counter-intuitive. Upon flushing, water rushes out from the back and hypothetically washes your turds into the hole in the front. Some major flaws exist with this design. Mainly, the lack of a water barrier between your goods and the toilet creates a horrid pre-flush smell and upon flushing is likely to leave behind some nasty streakage. Also, should you squeeze out a larger-than-average load, prepare to suffer the consequences of a close encounter, of the shitty kind. As mechanically dysfunctional as this thing is, the Germans (and neighboring countries as far as Holland) love it and continue to use it daily.
China - Squatters
These shit holes (very literally) evoke the image of communism. Their minimalist construction strips the user of any luxury. They are bare, rugged and, as it turns out, extremely intimidating. Countless squatter how-to guides exist. These guides mainly exist to address the fear of falling in. Let’s think about this: why are you afraid of a toilet? There are so many more things to be afraid of, say: rabid squirrels gnawing on your ankles, global warming, misguided pre-meditated murder and such. Here is the only guide you will ever need: see a hole, pull down your pants, squat and go. But just in case you still don’t get it, here is a step by step guide.
England – The Urilift & High Tank
The urilift was invented to remedy the insane amount of drunk-man piss on the streets of England. Whether it fixes the problem or not, this thing kicks ass. During the day, it is hidden in the ground and when the partying begins, it peeks its smelly head to the surface to service those drunk enough to not care that their bare asses are hanging out in the middle of the street.
The indoor variation (above) of the English toilet is also quite interesting. The water tank is placed very high above your head so that gravity aides in sucking down your load. For those times when your arms are just not strong enough to flush a toilet, it’s nice to know gravity is there to give you a little hand.
Japan: Extreme High Tech
In Japan, you might be hovering over a hole in the ground (see China Squatter above) or you have arm rests with remote controls that make your stay on the seat very enjoyable and luxurious. The high tech extreme is quite difficult to master. Like flying a space shuttle, this toilet has buttons for just about any bathroom predicament you may find yourself in, specifically: a noise button to mask the sound of whatever you need to do while in the john (yodeling for instance), one that activates a blow dryer, a clock to time your visit (handy for when you’re competing with your Japanese friends), amongst many intricate others. It seems like you need at least an associate’s degree in computer technology to operate this type of machinery.
Russia- Seatless
In one of the coldest places in the world, it’s wonderful to know that when you need to go number two and squatting is not your forte, your ass will probably freeze to the porcelain bowl as no cushy plastic seat is attached. Furthermore, Russians consider toilet paper of any kind a luxury. So friends, before visiting Mother Russia (and China for that matter), we suggest you build up those quads with lunges and bring along a roll or two for the ride.
Brazil: Button Pushers
Whereas other toilets are set to flush an average amount of cargo, this one leaves it in your hands. Equipped with a flush button, but no septic tank, your job is to hold the button down for a continual flush until you feel it’s time to move on. The politics of this get tricky: for the over-zealous, flush-loving types, this method becomes a huge waste of water. But if you can control that trigger finger, this flush method effectively avoids dreaded foreign-country toilet clogs.
Australia: Counter-Clockwise
Why was the counter-clockwise issue ever an issue? Everything will still go down the drain, just in a differently directed spin. What’s the problem or the fascination? Who notices these things? You know who? People that stare down at the toilet after they’re done. We caught you! Its okay, everyone looks at what they produced with curiosity and sometimes pride. We don’t care which direction it spins as long as it goes down.
Texting to Tinkle
Added bonus fact: Did you know that in Finland, in order to use the roadside public restroom, you must TEXT MESSAGE a road official to have it unlocked? Its cleaner, prevents vandalism and gives your texting thumb a reason to get up in the morning.
When it comes to backpacking, very few things are universal across the board. While we globally share our human need to dispose of waste, different places have developed their own, varied waste receptacles. There is no need to be afraid of difference as most toilets don’t have teeth and are pretty self-explanatory. If you still feel like you need a guide so you can approach the shitter with confidence, STA Travel made a pretty extensive how-to.
Finally, this article wouldn’t be possible without Mr. Cromwell. This man has visited (and used) many a toilet around the world and has gathered his finding on his website. We tip our hats to you Mr. Cromwell, you are a gentleman and a saint.
Written By: Anna Starostinetskaya
Designed By: Tiffany Baker & Freddie Pikovsky
Head Writer/Editor-in-Chief of Off Track Planet. Pescatarians are not just cheating vegetarians; we're our own breed and the extra protein makes us more feisty! Rawr
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There is one advantage to German style toilets – you need less water if you pee and flush it down.
I like to take a good shits.
Good article but you have omitted the most important point.
Traveling the world and it’s not the diversity of the shape and structures of all the potties it’s the funny customs of how they use them that can get odd and bizarre. I mean really now, no toilet paper? A jug of water? We do what with this?
The german style toilets are designed that way to separate the solids from the urine. This is done so that phosphorus can easily be extracted from the urine. The world has a finite supply of phosphorus and will soon hit peak phosphorus (much like peak oil) so expect to see this technology more often in the future.