Otp’s Guide to Street Food: Vietnam

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A few years back, Vietnamese cuisine was something only its people and a small handful of food-savvy non-Asians knew much about.  Today, it’s become one of the trendiest stateside ethnic foods.   While any Yelp-user can whip up a list of hipster-packed “authentic” Vietnamese restaurants in Seattle, Santa Ana, or Houston, why no one-up those PBR-guzzlers by hightailing it to the motherland instead?  No need to be stumped by the Vietnamese-only menus or the masses of food carts and restaurants, OTP’s got your go-to Guide To Street Food in Vietnam.

Any food item containing the word “banh” means it’s flour-based, and what better way to kick-start the day than with a huge plate of carbs?  Out of all the yeasty treats, the most popular is the banh mi, a crispy baguette stuffed with your choice of cold cuts, grilled or roasted pork, pate, pickled carrots and daikon, cilantro, chili peppers, cucumbers, buttered mayo, eggs, or all of the above.  Grab the best twelve inches you’ll ever have at Tiem Banh Mi Phuong in Hoi An

Another popular banh variety is the banh xeo, a giant savory Vietnamese crepe packed with fatty pork, shrimp, mint leaves, basil and bean sprouts, pan-fried over a charcoal burner and topped off with nuoc mam (that delicious, funny-smelling, fish sauce). Available at all banh xeo-only restaurants on Tuyen Quang St. (a.k.a. Banh Xeo Street) in Phan Thiet, listen for the loudest sizzles to pick your dispensary.

Vietnamese people are a big meat-eating bunch, but they’ll gladly replace meat items with tofu or veggise for all you grass munchers.

 

Forget that shitty Ramen you lived on as a starving college kid, when it comes to noodles, the Vietnamese don’t mess with that junk.  Instead, warm up your spoon for some pho (pronounced “fuh” not “foh”), a steaming hot bowl of vermicelli noodle soup served with beef or chicken, bean sprouts, basil and cilantro.  Spice it up with some chili peppers, a squirt of lime juice and Sriracha. The finest pho is stewing at Pho Hoa in Saigon

If your broth ends up a bright red from all that Sriracha, congrats!  You’ve graduated to bun bo hue, a spicier, sassier pho variety from central Vietnam.  This lemongrass-laden noodle soup comes loaded with marinated beef, sliced cabbage, raw onions, oxtail, pork knuckles, and congealed pig’s blood—if you’re no Bourdain, you can ask them to hold the last two. Kick your face’s ass with spice and order up the stuff at Bun Bo Hue restaurant in Hue City

Dry off your noodles and drop the broth and you’ve got Bun thit nuong, which consists of grilled pork chops, roasted peanuts, daikon and carrots served over vermicelli noodles and a bed of greens.  If you’re shooting for the major leagues, drench it in that fishy sauce (nuoc mam) and worry about your bad breath later. The best bun thit nuong in town is found at Nem Nuong Than Van in Can Tho

“Smell Assault” is a fun trick to play on your hostelmates. Buy a small bottle of nuoc mam and approach someone in the kitchen. Tell them you bought this fragrant, awesome sauce that they just have to smell. Quickly unscrew the cap and shove it under their nose. Watch them writhe in odor anguish.

For the best midday snack that won’t sit heavy in your belly, grab some goi cuon, or spring rolls.  The main ingredients—pork, shrimp, lettuce, vermicelli noodles and fresh herbs—are wrapped in rice paper and served in a neat, easy to man-handle bundle. Dip it in some peanut Hoisin sauce and avoid looking vulgar as you shove it in your mouth whole.

For a roll with more grease appeal, turn to cha gio.  Its key ingredients of ground meat and/or shrimp, carrots, jicama, and mushrooms also come rolled in a sheet of rice paper, only this time it gets deep-fried in hot cooking oil.  Wrap it in some lettuce to hide your guilt and douse it in nuoc mam. The streets are best for both roll varieties and if you’re paying more than $0.50 for two rolls, you’re being ripped off.

Feed your food baby one last time with some che, a dessert beverage or pudding usually made with some variation of fruit, beans and sticky rice.  One of the most commonly consumed is che sam bo luong, a sweet, cold soup made with lotus seeds, sliced seaweed, red jujubes, dried longans, Job’s tears, and crushed ice.  Another sweet way to end the meal is with che ba mau, a tasty layered concoction of azuki beans, Vietnamese jello, coconut milk, Thai red rubies and yellow mung beans.  While the name literally means “three-flavored dessert,” there’s way more going on than that. Vietnam’s sweetest spot is Quan An Ngon in Saigon, where your Job’s tears come extra depressed.

Vietnamese people aren’t big drinkers in general (damn that Asian redface inducing- lack of alcohol digestion gene!), but they still know how to enjoy a drink or two.  Each region has a local draft beer named after it (Bia Saigon, Bia Can Tho, etc.) and deciding which one’s best comes down to the drinker’s own taste. If price outweighs taste, the cheapest beer in the land is Bia Hoi, at 16 cents a pint.  While this unpasteurized light lager originates in Hanoi, it’s consumed throughout the country.  Its alcohol content is only 3% – 4% but after $1′s worth, you’ll be buzzed in no time. The working man’s drink can be found at any little outdoor-only bar with tiny plastic stools. Raise your glass with the locals as they simultaneously shout “mot, hai, ba, vo!” and down that cheap-tastic beer.

For a special evening out, grab a glass of ruou rang, or snake wine.  Take your pick of steeped wine, where snakes are soaked in the wine for several months before serving, or mixed wine, in which the snake gets sliced down the belly and the blood drains into a delicious shotglass of wine.  Don’t worry—ethanol in the wine denatures the snake venom so you won’t have to call a medic. Hit up one of the many snake wine bars in Le Mat (or Snake Village) outside of Hanoi and get slithery with it.

As Vietnamese cuisine continues to steamroll over Japanese and Thai cooking on its way up the ethnic food charts, don’t get caught up eating that Americanized/overpriced fusion crap. Grab a bite of the real deal for one-tenth of the price from the country where it all began.

 

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