Sex in India: A Guide to Getting Laid for Girls, Guys and Gays
Photo by: Hotmegafun
With more sexual history than that pregnant chick from high school—India is, after all, where the Kama Sutra (ancient porn) came from. Choose amongst 1.18 billion sexy candidates and outsmart over 2000 years of bold-faced patriarchy with OTP’s Guide to Getting Laid in India. Your quest for pootie-tang begins now.
Photo by: AlwaysInspired
India’s sex life is very much split between extremes. The Kama Sutra features over 64 ways to lay down the law and burn calories at the same time—with this little guide in your pocket you’ll never have to pay for ‘company’ or a gym membership again. In the same bulging vein, indigenous Tantric culture, which still lurks in India’s cultural identity, is the source for sex-statues, phallus worship and Goddess-goods. On the other hand (the clean one), in modern India, people frown upon chicks without a V-card, marriages are still arranged and modern etiquette dictates that you can’t touch a woman, or even enter her kitchen (her oven is definitely off-limits in all senses). We can blame Vedic culture for bringing patriarchy to India and turning sex-goddesses into humble, sari-wearing wives. It’s this dynamic that you’ve got to conquer with some cross-cultural foreplay. Lucky for us travelers, the pervasiveness of Western culture has made it easier to “touch base” with the locals.
Photo by: tom allen
First stop on your quest for Tantric sex is to get shitty in the city. Mumbai, Hyderabad, Delhi, Bangalore, Kolkata: every corner of India’s got a metropolis to land in. Though it’s true that you can still find the occasional sexytime in the hills, people are more conservative outside the city lines, especially if you show up with a forty of Kingfisher and some Amla oil.
Sexual perceptions are quickly changing in India. Ten years ago, a movie scene would be classified as raunchy if a girl showed her ankles on screen. Today, Bollywood actors drink wine down a stripper’s legs and don’t even bother to wipe off their five-o’clock shadow (1:40…you’re welcome).
Where do you come in? In this town, big-shots use sexy spots to make connections. The clubs in Mumbai are full of people trying to rub whatever it takes with someone who can snag ‘em a gig. Try to scissor the stars while getting slizzered at Shiro. Like LA, the more exclusive you go, the hotter the merchandise. Aim for a B+ at Club Poison and don’t worry about hurting your Rupee-bank.
Urban culture in India is at a sexual tipping point, but they walk the cultural line by keeping the strippers in their clothes. A little mystery goes a long way, especially when the dancers are swirling around in easter-egg prom dresses. Twisted Freudian voyeurism might be the M.O., but just like those hot cousins at your family reunions, it’s all look, no touch. Enjoy the show and shop around for lounge-lizards looking for a free ride. They’ll let you fight for your right to party, and if you’re smooth enough, you’ll get to open her chakras before you move on. If it’s lingam-love you’re after, stop by The Voodoo Pub or Cafe Leopold if you’re in the Calaba district.
OTP Tip: Be careful who you shoot winks at: if the girl’s wearing chooda around her wrist, chances are some Babu a few tables away practically owns her.
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The patriarchal Bhangra that has taken India by storm makes it inevitably easier for guys to score than their female counterparts. Ladies, we feel your pain, but that’s no reason to hold your libidos back. You should remember that dudes have always had to work harder to get horizontal no matter what part of the world we’re talking about. Mingling at any spot is your one-way ticket to a local Shahrukh Khan, just make sure you know who you’re going home with. Married men are often on the prowl for ‘loose’ western chicks.
Lesbians in India are hard to come by, only because two women can’t support themselves or the social pressure of such a thing. If you’re WTF’ing right now, then good. Go change the world, one lesbian at a time. Maybe two.
Photo by: Oleg Zdorik
Chances are you won’t be the only foreigner in India looking to party. Goa’s one of the few Indian gems where ‘Daweed’ isn’t just some punk-ass chaiwalla across town. This ex-Portuguese colony is a dance mecca where foreigners just like you are stoned, drunk and wet (with sweat!) and looking for a sample of India’s finest ass. If you’ve got the stamina, the all-night raves and full moon parties will find you a fellow traveler to grind on. Flaunt it at Anjuna Beach, then rinse and repeat.
OTP Tip: In case you’re sick of the spices in everything—even fucking lemonade, then Pondicherry’s your grape of choice. It’s an ex-French colony on the Tamil coast that glows with its funky presence. The French quarter’s got cheap beds and swanky French food. Gather your swagger, get to “Pondy” and enjoy the view that made Yann Martel believe in God.
India’s sex scene isn’t a Turkish bath or Bangkok’s Soi Cowboy, but there’s plenty of debauchery to get into–over and over again–if you keep to the scene. The country’s got a cultural identity even Alexander the Great couldn’t fuck with it. Despite a highly-controlled social system of marriage and relationships, there are surely a couple of loose cannons anywhere. Get lost in India, and come out with a harem of Bollywood-babes, or at least a couple of ticks in your little black book. Happy treasure trails.
Unbridled reality, bitches!
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I liked the OTP Tip: not to wink at girls wearing rakhi around her wrist, chances are some Babu a few tables away practically owns her’. This type of info is gold.
India has 1.18 billion people, but I haven’t met many people who have the Indian flag. Indian women are some of the most stunning women on the planet but for most of us our knowledge is limited, help us fill in the information gaps of the world at http://www.wavethatflag.com. Success.