OTP’s Top 10 Things to Do in Bern on a Backpacker’s Budget

Smushed between the high-flying action of Interlaken and the blingin’ ballers out in Zurich, capital city Bern rocks out enough culture to entertain the intelligence of Einstein in his prime, beautiful nature, busy restaurants, bars and clubs of the dive and classy kind and bears (of the “will eat you” kind). Hang on to those annoyingly huge five-franc coins by loading up on OTP’s Top 10 Things to Do in Bern on a Backpacker’s Budget.
Bern’s history runs deep. The entire UNESCO-approved old town is where you’ll find the real cultural gooeyness, and that old-fashioned feel perseveres despite a 1405 fire that nearly torched everything. A modern twist to a medieval town, you can gaze at Switzerland’s greatest buildings and towers, like the Münster and Zytglogge, while shopping in miles of Bern’s covered outdoor markets–the largest in Europe.
Bears and Beers
Bus 12 to Bärengraben will bring you straight to the beer-on-bear action. BearPark is huge and built to get you close to where the bears roam about sleeping, eating, shitting and doing all sorts of other engagingly grizzly activities. Get cuddly with Yogi down by the river then follow the path to Altes Tramdepot, the beer spot up top. Grab one of their on-site brews for a surprisingly cheap $5 and enjoy the aerial view of the bears below and the Old Town across the river.
OTP Fun Fact: Bern means bear. Now it all makes sense.

Dip into the Marzili swimming pool to clean out that backpacker swamp ass. The Marzilibahn funicular leads down to Freibad Marzili, where you’ll find a bathhouse to change, enormous grasslands to tan, and a laned pool and river for triple-action cleaning/cooling/pectoral-building sessions. Stuff your face with a cheese-filled pretzel from the snack bar for a breakfast, lunch or dinner of a true, refreshed champion. Wait an hour to go back into the pool or else.

Kornhauskeller, a 300-year old underground restaurant serving classy wines and local Swiss food, like fondue, is the place to budge your budget a little and taste the finer things. Once you’re back in backpacker budget land, head to Adriano’s Cafe, right by the Zytglogge, for the best cheap drinks and sandwiches (around $12) with a conversational and friendly indoor/outdoor atmosphere. If you like your cheap drinks with an exclusive feel, keep an eye out for open cellar doors. Pery’s Bar, down Schmiedenplatz, proves the best parties are always kept on the down low.
“Time Bell” in English, the Zytglogge is an 800-year old astronomical clock tower which has doubled as a watch tower and prison throughout the city’s past. A mechanical show with crowing roosters, old guys getting their beards pulled and twirling mechanical men happens before the bell strikes every hour. Manually wound for 25 years straight by the same dude, drop $10 for a guided tour to check out his dedicated handiwork going down at 2:30 pm, daily. In addition to time, the Zytglogge has a Julian calendar telling you the day, month and season.
Photograph the Fountains
Bern’s fresh-water fountains are the pure pride of Switzerland. Over 100 spill water throughout the city, but only 11 are famous original statues from nearly 500 hundred years ago, each portraying some sort of crazy Renaissance allegory. A Swiss parenting dream, the Ogre fountain, in Kornhausplatz, depicts a giant ogre devouring disobedient children. Whether you take pictures or a drink (or just drink from your flask), these fountains are a cool way to navigate the geography and history of the Old City of Bern.

Albert Einstein lived in Bern while developing the Theory of Relativity. His dwellings have been museumified and for $7, you can tour his restored house on Kramgrasse. If you can cough up $20 in the name of smarts, you get a full-guided audio tour through the Historical Museum of Bern which includes the dedicated Einstein Museum, featuring a year-by-year timeline of the genius’ professional and personal life depicted in 70 films, 550 artifacts and dozens of re-imagined rooms.
Blow your load at the Westside complex. Tram 8 to Brunnen Bahnhof will bring you to the visually stunning building that raised Bern to a new level both architecturally and economically. It’s an international mall done right with shopping galore, a humongous multiplex, wellness spa and a friggin’ waterpark. The coastal debate in Bern is settled; Westside’s where it’s at.
Cheese-Wiz
Fill your knowledge gaps of the hole-iest Swiss cheese, Emmental, by visiting its dairy birthplace. Train it to Hasle-Rüegsau then bus to Affoltern to find yourself in the heart of the rolling green-hilled region of Emmental. Make a lunch out of samples by hitting the guided tour of the factory for around 10 bucks. Emmental is an internationally famous cheese and the connoisseur-like tale you’ll gather here will make every future Swiss cheese sandwich better.
Sink it In Up High
The best aerial view of Bern is from high up Gurten. Taking tram 9 to Gurtenbahn, then Switzerland’s fastest funicular up the mountain provides easy, affordable access. Pack a picnic, hike the many trails or play in the park to fight off the altitude queasies and settle on the observational deck; everything’s awesome up there because of the half mile-high panoramic view. Come in July to catch the 4-day Gurten music festival to soundtrack your top of the world frolicking.
Whether your train is stopping over en route, you stumble in to regularize your heartbeat post-Alps adventure or are hiding from Zurich’s fannypackers, Bern is geared up to treat you right. Bait some bears with cheese samples and have yourself a Swiss adventure sans skis.

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