OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off in Buenos Aires
New York looks like a narcoleptic in a party line up next to truly sleepless Buenos Aires. Porteños are infamously nocturnal partiers, so when most clubs back home are closing doors, Buenos Aires is just waking up fresh from their siesta. You won’t get home before the sun is shining, so pack your sunglasses, take a deep breath of this ‘good air,’ and saddle up, gaucho, for OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off in Buenos Aires.
Don’t expect to survive a night out here without a late evening nap. Wake up to a juicy bife de lomo steak and a few glasses of Malbec from La Cholita in Recoleta. It may be 11 pm, but in BsAs, you still have several hours of pre-game to go. Squeeze in some Argentine culture at La Viruta in Palermo with cheap tango lessons and drinks. If you’d like to save your feet for the clubs, throw back a couple jarras (liter jugs) of Quilmes at a late night cafe, or check out any of our favorite local bars. For some international flavor, the Krakow Bar in San Telmo is the best Polish bar on the continent. The Casa Bar in Recoleta has whichever beer you’ve been missing from home with American sports on the big screen. And in case you’ve forgotten that the Irish like to drink, happy hour at The Shamrock is a great reminder, runs until midnight and is an easy launching point (careful down the stairs, drunkass) for the club downstairs.
Gametime
Weekends here start on Tuesday and an established rotation of clubs takes turns packing in the Porteños until Friday. For Tuesday drink deals, join the college students that fill all three stories of Jobs sports bar with your standard pub games and then some (how can you go wrong mixing booze with archery?) Wednesday is the exception to BsAs’ late starts, so put on deodorant and blend into the after work party at Boutique or Terrazas del Este. On Thursdays at Club 69, give your tired eyes a treat with shirtless breakdancers and a tranny cabaret show.
When the real weekend hits, the major boliches (clubs) awaken from a five day slumber. Don’t out your rookie self by making any moves before 2 am. The aptly named Big One pumps techno and house on Saturdays to an energetic young crowd of 4,000. On Fridays, this is where gays can find their own ‘big one.’ International mega-clubs Crobar and Pacha have tapped into the party scene. At Pacha, find a bartender to pour you the off menu Séptimo Regimiento – a lethal mix of white rum, vodka, tequila, triple sec, gin, whiskey and a splash of grenadine (used to mask the booze storm). Just one of these will get you from buzzed to blitzed. Expect odd looks if you try escaping any of this debauchery before sunrise.
OTP Tip: If your ear drums need a break from bass and your timing is right, track down the monthly Balkan gypsy music party, Fiesta Bubamara, for an experience unlike any other in Argentina.
Food joints throughout the city have answered the drunken morning munchies call by spreading themselves all over and serving 24/7. La Madeleine’s multiple spots all have wide menus including sandwiches, pizzas, salads, omelets and steaks to accommodate groups unwilling to compromise. In San Telmo, Hamburguesas 24 Horas is quick, cheap, simple and delicious. In the Center, the Obelisk food boner will guide you to cheap burgers, dogs, sandwiches and breakfasts at the nearby Nac & Pop. And finally, locals crowd all dozen of the Kentucky Pizzerias for, ironically, the best Argentine-style pizza in BsAs and some good ole’ American hillbilly ambiance.
The After Party
When you stumble out to the street, the sun rays will gouge your bloodshot eyes. Birds will taunt you, and parents will hold their children close as they whisk by you on their walk to church, noting another lost soul for which to pray. Throw on your dark shades, pop a couple cafiaspirina pills (caffeine and aspirin), and head to Caix to keep the Saturday night party rolling! Doors open at 9 am Sunday for heathen crowds unwilling to let the night end. When you overheat on the five dance floors, grab a vodka and Speed (the energy drink, you raver) and head to the outdoor terrace for some fresh air. The blazing midday sun doesn’t slow down the hundreds of still-partying Porteños.
Normally a clean party hostel is hard to come by, but the two Milhouse Hostels (www.milhousehostel.com) are your Buenos Aires cherries. Their on-site bars draw the young backpacking crowd for happy hour and they organize trips to the best clubs in BsAs. The staff knows more than anyone about the ever-evolving nightlife, but their offerings go beyond getting you shitfaced. Tango lessons, Spanish classes, city tours, soccer match outings and rooftop barbecues are all part of the deal at Milhouse. When it’s finally time to part with the party, both locations are super clean and comfortable places to pass out (without having to worry about waking up with a rash). Both hostels are right in the city center – one in a 19th century three story colonial house and the other in a newly-restored century-old mansion (fancy digs for your hobo Highness).
Crawl out of your misery and drag yourself to the famous Recoleta cemetery – the only place in the city you’ll find people in worse condition than you. Buenos Aires is great for sweating out the booze by hiking the hill to the nearby weekend artisans’ market. Reward yourself with empenadas in the city at El Sanjuanino and go trip out on the giant metallic flower, just a few blocks away at the Plaza Naciones Unidas. No dogs are allowed here, making it one of the few places in the city you can enjoy a nap in the grass free from bark assaults.
After a few days in the Argentine capital, you’ll wonder how anyone gets any sleep or work done. But that’s not for you to worry about. You’re here to party! When zombie-mode gets annoying, daily siestas are always around to de-puff your under-eyes.
One life is just not enough for this world.
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Buenos Aires is one of our favourite party cities. We did an episode there… check out the shenanigans we got into. The nightlife is bomb! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ffr_YOk610