OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off in London
It’s no secret that London has an amazing party scene. The downside: it’s nasty expensive: The upside: the legal drinking age is 18 and we’re working overtime to give your broke ass a taste of Londontown. Leave your fake ID behind and get on the wanker-wagon for a ‘cheap as chips’ night on the town with OTP’s Guide to Partying Your Ass Off in London.
While you’re deciding on a bar or club, see who’s playing HMV’s flagship store on Oxford Street. Some of the world’s biggest bands have deafened people with their tunes there. You can also get pumped for the night ahead with The Friday Night Skate. Skaters depart from the Wellington Arch free of charge every Friday night at 8pm. Down a box of wine from Sainsbury’s, grab your rollerskates and let the eight-wheel street-cruising begin with 5,000 nudnicks just like yourself.
Game Time
Thirsty yet? Of course you are. London is a deep and wide mecca with a shitload of watering holes. Two areas worth considering are Leicester Square/Covent Garden and Shoreditch. The public transport is efficient in London but very expensive, so focus your evening in one area and bumble between bars and clubs before you puke and head home.
Leicester Square/Covent Garden
This is the London you recognize from TV and movies: densely crammed with chain restaurants, flashing lights, street performers and those looking to pick your pockets. There are also a handful of bars that were born for the backpacking budget. La Perla at 28 Maiden Lane has a daily happy hour from 4-7pm with cocktails from £3.50 and beer from £2. Hit it up on Mondays for £2 Coronas until 11pm and stumble back for margarita Tuesdays. When it’s time to start clubbing, move over to The A Lounge at 66 Trafalgar Square, where it’s free before 10pm and only £7 after if you’re on the guestlist. 93 Feet East is another popular live music venue and Carribean bar on Brick Lane where you can listen to great music in a wild atmosphere. Covers vary by night.
Queen of Hoxton has hipster written all over it. Located in London’s east end, it’s Freddy Kruger dark and seedy outside, with a live, bubbly center of locally-acclaimed music and drink deals. Happy hour runs from 5pm-2am on Thursdays, with £3 spirits and beers. Plus, if you’re into Foursquare, the current ‘mayor’ of Queen of Hoxton gets their second round of drinks free all night. When you’re ready to club, head over to East Bloc where entry from 9pm is cheaper than a bottle of water at most other places.
Kebabs are one of London’s best known imports, and you’ll find people slinging sticks at all hours. Get your answer to mid-party hunger at Parson’s Green, where your can feed your drunk face tender spiced lamb and crisp veg rammed into a soft pita. The Kebab Kid, started in 2008 by a Michelin-starred chef, is another popular spot. Although this street meat is top notch, you won’t spend your last Pound Sterling note, nor will you spend an evening on the shitter after eating here.
OTP Tip: To stay away from the shitter in general, don’t eat at kebab shops without a line. When meat sits around and isn’t sold to the masses, flies land on it and make a meaty breeding ground and that’s a one way ticket to the shitter with a long layover in nastyville.
If you’re looking for something a little more sit-downy near clubs and bars, the Leicester Square location of Wagamama is open until 12am on Friday and Saturday (this one has a bar). These are popular places where backpackers mow cheap bowls of noodles to lower their BAC and get back on the booze trolly.
If you’re hell-bent on partying into the wee hours of the morning, you’ve come to the right place. In Leicester Square, Metra is a popular club with a warm color palette, candles and mirrors. Dance your ass off to R & B and house in four different areas. Covers depend on the night of the week, but Mondays and Wednesdays are geared to get students drunk so vodka mixers and beers run £2.50 until midnight. Even better, Metra won’t kick you out until 3am Monday through Thursday and 4am on Friday and Saturday, so you can be sure you’re getting your money’s worth in this swanktastic club.
With a name like ‘The Generator,’ Arnold Schwarzenegger might as well be the inn-keeper. While you won’t find him here, you’ll likely run into some Austrians. London’s largest and liveliest, this thing’s a massive 800-bed hostel in Russell Square and its bar is famous for karaoke, DJs and bargain booze. Drink from 6pm-2am daily and then take the party to one of the 24-hour lounges to laugh it off until the all-you-can breakfast starts at 7am.
The Hangover
If you feel like a double-decker plowed you in the face, congratulations on acquiring a true London hangover. Luckily, Brits have the market cornered when it comes to hangover remedies. Grab a glass of water and dissolve a nutrient-packed tab of Berocca for a fat dose of vitamins and minerals that should put you on the mend. If Berocca fails you, head to the pub where you can decide on a hair of the dog drink or a good old fashioned fry up. Make your primary care physician cringe with a Full English Breakfast: toast, fried bacon, fried egg, sausages, fried tomatoes, fried mushrooms, baked beans and hashbrowns. Don’t forget the HP brown sauce; no English breakfast is complete without that nasty shit dribbling down your chin.
With cheap partying in London under your belt, perhaps it’s time for some afternoon tea. Raise a pinky and proudly jam up your crumpet. Because after all this debauchery, you’re probably the lone cowboy still holding on to pounds (if only of the love-handle variety).
I’m Kyle, a 2002 graduate of UC Santa Barbara with a degree in English and Art History. My studies also include time at Cambridge University, but short of picking up phrases like “cheers” and an affinity for “a good curry,” the experience was more social than academic. In addition to fashionable beers and cuisines from far-flung places, I started embracing things like currency conversions and the metric system. In other words, it was when the travel bug nestled in for the long-haul.
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Nice piece. There are 1000 and some party places in London, depends on what beats you’re into. The Kebab Kid, sounds like my kind of place.
If you are heading to Shoreditch, go to the Princess of Shoreditch first, I went there its a really nice bar for a pre clubbing drink.