10 Sexiest Germans of All Time
When Germans breed, the results are statuesque specimens who exude a massive amount of sex appeal. Whether you agree or disagree, grab a bubbly brew and enjoy OTP’s Top 10 Sexiest Germans of All Time.
Gay or straight, ask any man which German he’d like to find in his bed, and the likely answer is Heidi Klum. For the straights, she’s a gorgeous German-American model with a bangin’ body. For the gays, she can narrate “Project Runway” and then sing you to sleep with her charming accent. Heidi can thank her husband, Seal, for helping her sing in places besides the shower, and her modeling career was made possible by a friend. After being talked into trying out for “Model 92,” Klum beat out 25,000 other contestants and was offered a $300,000 modeling contract by Metropolitan Models New York. Heidi became a household magazine tear-out after she appeared on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. She’s also been torn out of more Victoria’s Secret catalogs than we care to discuss, adorning the walls of guys’ bathrooms everywhere.
Jürgen Klinsmann is a delicious silver fox. Klinsmann played for a variety of legit soccer teams in Europe during the 80′s and 90′s, and was part of the West German team that won the 1990 FIFA World Cup and the 1996 UEFA European Championship. These days, he bosses around the US Men’s National Team as the coach and who doesn’t love a little taste of German dictatorship from yesteryear? Plus, if Klinsmann is as good in the sack as he was on the field (he was the first player to ever score in three different UEFA European Championships), you would be lucky to run your hands through that salt and pepper hair and across his olympic-sized schwanz.
Our pick for the kiddies (and those into “is that really a dude?” double-take moments), Bill Kaulitz is the lead singer of Tokio Hotel. So hot they made two of him, his identical brother, Tom is also in the band. To set himself apart, Bill goes the eclectic route. A singer, songwriter, designer and model, he is the teeny tiny German equivalent of Lady Gaga and has melted dozens of German teenage panties (so much so, that he was stalked by several chicks in 2008/2009). Kaulitz has modeled for PETA, was the youngest person immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds in Berlin, and in 2009, was selected by Karl Lagerfeld to be in a photo shoot for Vogue’s 30th birthday.
Claudia Schiffer experienced her own version of “Mean Girls” during high school. She claims that she was popular, but also the target of socially insecure girls who didn’t appreciate her tall, hot ass cruising the halls. She showed them. Schiffer is one of the most successful models in the universe and has appeared on over 500 magazine covers. Hot and smart, Schiffer originally wanted to be a lawyer like her dad but to the penile pleasure of many men, she was spotted in a Dusseldorf nightclub in 1987 by Michel Levaton and signed to Metropolitan Models New York.
With a name like Dirk, you have to wonder what’s beneath those basketball shorts. Okay, he may be on the Neanderthal ugly side but we’re talking sexy here. He’s seven feet tall and if this German maintains a proportionate body, then it’s not just his mobility and size on the court that matter. He’s well-equipped to lead basketball teams to championships, which leads us to believe that his sex appeal is swinging freely all the way to MVP.
Marlene Dietrich
Born in Schöneberg, Germany, she got her start there acting on stage and in silent films. The small town wouldn’t hush her forever, though. Her film, “The Blue Angel,” brought her international fame and earned her a contract with Paramount Pictures in Hollywood. Not just a pretty face (with questionable eyebrows), during her first American film, “Morocco,” she muttered her lines phonetically (she knew very little English) and did a good enough job to earn herself an Oscar nomination.
Driving gloves and a fast car are the hallmark signs of a true stud, and German Formula One driver, Michael Schumacher, leaves skid marks all over that hall. Schumacher is a seven-time World Champion and is widely regarded as one of the greatest F1 drivers of all time. With big wheels and a long shaft, Schumacher began racing at the age of four when his dad doctored up his pedal cart with a small engine. Despite German regulations requiring a driver to be 14 years old before getting a license, Schumacher cruised around it by getting his license in Luxembourg at the age of 12.
Born Frederick Austerlitz, the family changed their name when he and sister, Adele, launched their brother/sister vaudeville act, their mother’s ticket out of Omaha, Nebraska. Astaire’s film career spanned an impressive 76 years and he starred in 31 musical films. Any 80 year-old broad will tell you, Fred’s a ladykiller.
To avoid the risk of pissing off a significant portion of the German population, the Hoff has a solid spot on our list. David Hasselhoff is barely German (his great-grandmother immigrated), but they revere him there for (now pay attention) his singing career. Yep, the Hoff had two #1 hits on the German pop charts in 1989, “Looking for Freedom” and “Crazy for You.” In the US, he’s better known for his roles in Knight Rider, Baywatch and for slobbering all over a hamburger during a taped, drunken rant. Don’t hassle the Hoff!
A hot mix of German and Italian, Janine proves that Hef’s long arm is dead on, even overseas. She has appeared in German Playboy numerous times, landing the German Playmate of the Month spot in 2004, then upping the ante to Playmate of the Year in 2005 and taking it all the way across the pond as America’s Playmate of the Month in 2006. Janine continues to fuel the German sausagefest with her delightful assets daily.
They may be stern and obnoxiously punctual, but these Germans have hot on tap. Even if all the supermodels and the Hoff himself don’t get you going, there is no better place on Earth to put on your beer goggles and find someone list-worthy for yourself.
I’m Kyle, a 2002 graduate of UC Santa Barbara with a degree in English and Art History. My studies also include time at Cambridge University, but short of picking up phrases like “cheers” and an affinity for “a good curry,” the experience was more social than academic. In addition to fashionable beers and cuisines from far-flung places, I started embracing things like currency conversions and the metric system. In other words, it was when the travel bug nestled in for the long-haul.
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Tom Kaulitz deserves a spot……..
Bill…<3
Its interesting to know this. Are these your own list? Nice post though.