Confessions from Abroad: The White Badge of Courage
By: The Helen Keller Voyeur
I was volunteering at a local hospital near Madras to reap the benefits of a sweet apartment above the pharmacy. After a few days of working, one of the nurses (let’s call her Kamala) started talking to me and casually placed her toes on my foot. Having read ‘Siddhartha’ in high school I remembered that this was an ancient Indian custom for raising the prospect of a good fuck. I was intrigued…naturally. In her little white nurse Sari, she could have jammed her heel into my balls for all I cared! To keep things short, at the end of our shift, we made our way to her house where she said our secret would be safe as my apartment above the pharmacy was too conspicuous in front of all the gossiping staff.
We made our way inside her dark house and quickly did the deed. Afterward, she offered me a cool drink and some sweets (God bless Indian hospitality). She kept the lights off; I thought this was in case the nosy neighbors would try to look through the windows. The air was hot, you could hear the people in the markets outside and I was tumbling around with this nurse on the sparse furniture she had in her place. Then, I suddenly heard some raspy chatter from the darkness on the other side of the room.
“What the fuck is that?” I gasped. This chick didn’t speak any English, and I freaked. But she knew what was up.
“Amma,” she said. I remembered the little bit of Tamil I had learned thus far…‘Amma’ meant Mom. Kamala looked at me and pointed to her eyes and ears, shaking her head. Jesus Christ, her blind and deaf mom was sitting on the other side of the room. Sensing my hesitation, Kamala grabbed my hand and walked us over to the chair where her mother was sitting. She was old, staring at the wall with a string of prayer beads in her hand. Kamala said, “Ammu, Ammu!” right into her ear. Nothing. Alright, fine. So we went for round two.
As if to drive the point home, this kinky chick grabs the back of the chair and we keep going right there. After a minute she began to stroke her Mom’s hair, ever so lightly. It was twisted. It was weird. It was fuckin’ hot? She yells into her Mom’s ear as we go at it right there behind her, and the lady nods every once in a while, as if she could hear the gods answering her prayers. And here, ladies and gentlemen, is my confession (as if the preceding situation wasn’t enough).
While back there behind the blind and deaf Indian Mom, Kamala reaches back and rips my condom off, grabbing my ass and pulling me back in. It was too much. The third party, the unsafe sex, the language barrier, the neighbors outside…it was a moment of glory. I pulled out just in time–and the splooge flew right onto her Amma’s head. The blind woman screeched and grabbed at her hair, fumbling to get up out of the chair. Kamala screamed. I screamed. Three people confused in the dark stumbling around a little house in Madras. I pulled my pants on and gave Kamala a kiss goodbye (even in the most trying of circumstances, I can still be cordial) and got the FUCK out of there.
The next day Kamala’s friend (who spoke a little more English than the rest of the nurses) told me everything was fine. Kamala told her Mom it was hair oil from her uncle’s Amla tree. She then spent twenty minutes rubbing it in to keep the lie and not end up husbandless. I could have felt like a piece of shit, but somewhere deep inside I’m proud of that story. I hardly tell it, but I wear the experience like a fuckin’ badge.
How long has it been since your last Confession?
If you have a wild, crazy or fascinating story from abroad, let OTP help you get it off your chest! Submit your story (600 words max) to contact@offtrackplanet.com – confessions are completely anonymous.
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Wow. Wow. Wow.
Two Words. Holy Shit!
This is without a doubt the raunchiest travel story I’ve seen on here.
I think this might be the raunchiest travel story EVER. Period. I don’t think even Hustler magazine can put together a travel story raunchier than this if they tried.
This is the first thing on OTP that has legit shocked me. Excuse me, I have to go find my jaw now, I think it rolled under the couch when it fell on the floor.
Feel really sorry for the mother