Confessions From Abroad: Ridin’ Dirty in the Greek Islands

Confessions | admin | January 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm

By: The ATV Bandit

The last landing of my Greek island-hopping adventures, Chios was meant to be more of a relaxing trip as opposed to the flashy, club-hopping, money-spending awesomeness that filled my prior travels. I was broke and as I stepped off the 12-person propeller airplane, I sold myself on the idea of staying near my room, enjoying the beach (more so, it’s favorable cost of admission) and saving my money for food and the trip home. The enticing views of the island beckoned and, as broke as I was, I needed to answer them.

I needed a set of wheels. I wasn’t about to let money stand between me and my exploratory intentions, and hey you don’t REALLY need three meals a day, do you? My other island adventures were spiced with me pedaling 10-speed bicycles, zipping through tight streets on mopeds, even rolling up to clubs in the undeniably fashionable Smart Car, and at this point, I could only hope that with my remaining money I could have similar thrills while on Chios.

After unloading all my gear I decided to familiarize myself with the main town. Gift shops, jewelry stores, eateries, and beachfront bars all tickled my fancy but the car rental agencies really grabbed my attention. I popped in and out of several before I found an obscurely attractive saleswoman who seemed intent on renting me an ATV (All Terrain Vehicle)–one of few on the entire island. My imagination ran wild with the possibilities of riding this thing up and down mountains and uncovering inaccessible beaches, so I told her I’d rent it for the day at €30. She proceeded to ask me the typical, useless information questions:

“You’re only going to ride it on the roads, right?”

“Of course,” I managed to mutter while images of off-road insanity flooded my mind.

She followed up by asking where I was staying. I figured she was attracted to the devilish grin on my face, so I impulsively lied and told her a false hotel. Moments later, she handed me the keys and told me that we would settle payment when I returned the next morning.

My arms were sore and my bare chest burnt from glory riding in the beating sun all day. The aftermarket headlamp they strapped on proved worthy as the dusty island became my playground all through the night. The next morning was met with an even brighter sun that must have lit a fire to my conscience. Practically broke and hungry for food and more adventure, I refused to part with my €30 or the ATV. I decided to keep my new ride for the remainder of my stay. The agency had no information of mine other than my name and a false hotel. I hadn’t seen police in my entire trip, and I wasn’t exactly worried about getting tracked down by the pretty, gum-chewing woman who rented me the ATV. I rode far and wide for the rest of the week courtesy of the asshole within me, and dammit they’re not kidding when they say that the best things in life are free. I trekked up and down mountains, across sandy beaches and sped through tight towns all the while dodging the rental agency.

The fear that my actions would not leave unpunished started to worry me as my final day approached. I decided to return the vehicle in the middle of the night–7 days late, and, of course, without any payment. I wrapped up my stay with smiles while tipping as many beggars as I could, creating a karma-conscious insurance policy for my flight the next morning. Thankfully, my incomparable good deeds were deemed worthy enough for safe travels home.

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